Floating

Do you ever feel like you don’t look forward to anything? Just living life day to day. I’ve been feeling stuck. I haven’t been able to create a working routine for myself. Ever since before the big day. Before the big day, all I was doing was preparing for it, then came the big day then after that days just passed by and then I went on a week long vacation then fell sick the moment I got back home and have been recovering ever since. I just find myself not able to find peace lately. I haven’t even tried to meditate or do yoga. The only productive thing I do is edit videos and prepare for my english lessons. I haven’t been working on my french language lessons. Now the internet at home isn’t working and it’s going to be a week until they send someone to fix it so they gave us a 4G internet instead and it’s really not fast enough. I can’t seem to upload my video up on YouTube. So I’m like literally stuck. But I want to make sure it doesn’t get me down and stop me from being creative or working on myself. I haven’t been inspired and I do not have the energy to do all the house chores. Feeling useless and lost right now.

The weather is getting colder. The yellow, dry leaves have been falling. My wardrobe needs to be changed and sorted out. Trying to find joy in the little things like listening to music. Before I went on the week long vacation, I was feeling extremely down. Since then I haven’t had the chance to truly feel anything because I fell super sick. It was a rollercoaster. I’m still feeling body aches and congestion but at least the worst is passed.

I’ve been drinking a lot of tea so that’s nice. Today I felt the energy to cook something nice for lunch so I cooked crispy chili beef with white rice just in time as Amélie was coming home from a long and cold day at work. Therefore it was quite a late lunch. I’m really thankful to be able to stay home and would really like to work on making this apartment a comfortable and cozy home. I feel like I’m floating. Neither here, nor there. I’ve got to find myself again.

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